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just a girl

Monday, February 26, 2007

10:48PM

i've moved onto myspace and suicide girls.

fantastic combo

love,
lola

Sunday, September 17, 2006

9:24PM - i've read my past lj entries and i owe it to myself to prove myself wrong

life is good.


living in a house near royal oak with a fantastic roommate turned friend.
i have an amazing person in my life that i can share ideas and thoughts with.
chloe is doing beautifully. she is my angel.
family at home seems to appreciate me, more than likely because i'm 40 minutes away now, but i have no qualms with that. family does not have to be physically close. i have gained respect.
i have weeded out things in my life that serve me no benefit. or perhaps some of them have weeded me out as someone they cannot feed from anymore. i have grown too strong. too strong, too amazing, too wonderful, too beautiful, too smart, too sweet and too emotionally intimidating to comprehend. i am a solid rock of Incredible.

it's about time things started going my way. 5 years ago i was HALF as happy as i am now. that's the last time i had enjoyed my life. can you imagine?... can you fathom 5 freaking years later, and i'm twice as happy now than when i was at my happiest, which was only half of what i could possibly project?



real men clean the kitchen.


Only the Good Die Young


i attended renfest today. i was so excited to go. i last went when i was 17. i feel very good about the experience i had today. the people watching, the smiling at strangers, the little girls in fairy constumes and the little boys in their knight's attire. i am thrilled with the company i am keeping. i am a very smart woman. i am smarter than you. i am more beautiful than you can ever imagine. i am blessed by my own doings and i deserve the greatest things in life.

you wish you knew.

Current mood: accomplished

Monday, July 17, 2006

10:51PM - we will start anew

WHEN DID I START TO POST ONLY LYRICS???
AND WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY E-SLAP ME??????

-- sincerely,
disappointed

slap slap slap.

Current mood: hopeful

Monday, July 10, 2006

1:12PM - lyrics for my enjoyment

Aerosmith


There was a time
When I was so broken hearted
Love wasn't much of a friend of mine
The tables have turned, yeah
'Cause me and them ways have parted
That kind of love was the killin' kind
Now listen
All I want is someone I can't resist
I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed

I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you
Do what you do - down on me

Now there's not even breathin' room
Between pleasure and pain
Yeah you cry when we're makin' love
Must be one and the same

It's down on me
Yeah I got to tell you one thing
It's been on my mind
Girl I gotta say
We're partners in crime
You got that certain something
What you give to me
Takes my breath away
Now the word out on the street
Is the devil's in your kiss
If our love goes up in flames
It's a fire I can't resist

I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you
Do what you do to me

'Cause what you got inside
Ain't where your love should stay
Yeah, our love, sweet love, ain't love
If you give your heart away

I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' just to get you
Now I'm dyin' just to let you
Do what you do what you do down to me,
baby, baby, baby

I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm tryin' to forget you
Your love is sweet misery
I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm dyin' cause I let you
Do what you do down to , down to, down to, down to
I was cryin' when I met you
Now I'm dyin' to forget you
Your love is sweet
I was cryin' when I met you


good song.

Current mood: okay

Monday, April 10, 2006

2:25AM - 94.7

Don't Fear the Reaper
Written by: Donald Roeser

All our times -- have come,
Here but now -- they're gone.

Seasons don't fear the reaper,
Nor do the wind,
the sun or the rain So come on baby, (don't fear the reaper)
Take my hand (don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly, (don't fear the reaper)
Cause baby, I'm your man...
Baby, I'm your man...
Valentine -- is done,
Here but now -- they're gone.

Romeo and Juliet,
Are together in eternity (Romeo and Juliet)
men and women everyday (like Romeo and Juliet)
Another everyday (we can be like they are)
So come on baby (don't fear the reaper)
Take my hand (don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly (don't fear the reaper)
Cause baby, I'm your man...
Baby, I'm your man...

Romeo and Juliet,
Are together in eternity (Romeo and Juliet)
So come on baby (don't fear the reaper)
Take my hand (don't fear the reaper)
We'll be able to fly (don't fear the reaper)
Baby, I'm your man...
Baby, I'm your man...

Current mood: content

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

9:58PM - it's been a weird day...

To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me
Always love
Hate will get you every time
Always love
Dont wait til the finish line

Slow demands come 'round
Squeeze the air and keep the rest out
It helps to write it down
Even when you then cross it out

But Always Love
Hate will get you every time
Always Love
Even when you wanna fight

Self-directed lives
I want to know what it?d be like to
Aim so high above
Any card that you've been dealt, you...

Always Love
Hate will get you every time
Always Love
Hate will get you

I've been held back by something
Yeah you said to me quietly on the stairs,
I've been held back by something
Yeah. You said to me quietly on the stairs.
You said
Hey, you good ones.
Hey, you good ones.

To make a mountain of your life
Is just a choice
But I never learned enough
To listen to the voice that told me...
Always love
hate will get you every time
Always love
hate will get you

I've been held back by something
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs,
I've been held back by something
Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs
You said..
Hey, you good ones
Hey, you good ones
Hey, you good ones

Current mood: thesickie

2:14AM - take a chance you stupid girl

hey there.

..
damnit now i have writers block.

Current mood: calm

Thursday, January 26, 2006

12:39AM - survey says

another pointless entry. for old times sake... i need to keep myself more informed on my life

Current mood: confused

Tuesday, January 3, 2006

1:57AM - a fucked up explaination without a real explaination

i don't update anymore because i've changed alot. mostly not in the best direction, as most would see. you'd look down on me and be disappointed in me. and i'd start to feel ashamed. but i'm just not dealing with that right now.

but i am eating chocolate cake ;)

Current mood: happy

Thursday, December 29, 2005

2:37AM - get you love drunk off my hump

i wish i wasn't me right now.
i'm trying to change/feel better about myself

i just enjoy the self-destructive stuff i have going on.
in conclusion, i'm no good for me

but i did go shopping and it did make me feel good.



whatchu gunna do with all that junk in your trunk?

Current mood: lethargic

Saturday, November 5, 2005

1:10PM - notice

not available to anyone. i have been discontinued. i apologize for the inconvenience.

--lola

Sunday, September 25, 2005

2:30AM - zoooooooooo

i went to the zoo today! it was so much fun. i saw the polar bears and the tigers were out and the girrafes were HUGE!! it was awesome

i slept through my plans for the evening because i was so exhausted.

yay for the zoo!

Current mood: exhausted

Sunday, September 11, 2005

5:37PM - it's been a while

when i think about you i touch myself

Current mood: bored

Saturday, August 20, 2005

11:43PM

everyone! play with your nipple. right now. i bet you 10 bucks it's fun.

Current mood: awake

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

2:28AM - purity and sexuality

have SG and LJ collided? and i just realized this??
.

who.. what.. i guess i never thought about that before.

Current mood: surprised

Tuesday, August 9, 2005

1:00AM - THIS NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS

"Beautiful Soul"

[Intro:]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

[Chorus:]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

[Chorus]

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know that you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste

I want you and your soul
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
ooooooo
Beautiful Soul, yeah
oooooo, yeah
Your beautiful soul
yeah

-- some song by jesse mccartny that some writter wrote..
and i fucking like the beat but it's all bullshit.

damnit.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

1:00AM

i got mad at myself earlier
i called myself a loser outloud and believed myself

that sucks for me

i'm going to lay down and listen to the rain before i go to sleep.
best part of my day

Monday, July 25, 2005

10:56PM - what is going on in here?!

mc chris is the shit

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

1:16PM - boring

i am updating on what some say is my life.

work:
i work 4-5 hours shifts just about every evening, 8 hours on saturday, and my usual 7 hours on sunday, which includes doing the books. i got my raise (still making crap though), but have yet to see full time, but thats ok, time will tell. i trained the night staff. i'm respected. and yet it's getting me nowhere.
i'm thinking about possibly going to massage therapy school. it's goal in life, right? and i think i could do it. i'm earily confident in wanting to go. but info has yet to reach the house, i emailed them a few nights ago. we shall see.

"life":
i'm still living at home. within the next year, i plan to move to my sister's condo, if funds go well. she'll be getting married and moving to royal oak with michael. i hope the condo plays out for me though, because it's a really nice place, right by work, i'd live alone, kitchen, washer/dryer, dishwasher, i can have chloe, *sigh*... hope for me

personal:
i've gained weight and looked at myself in the mirror the other day and though "god damnit, i'm fat again" i used to be "curvy", and i loved that. i'm kinda trying to cut back but.. i still love myself.. in a way.. and i feel almost hypocritical of myself. it's strange.
still have my faded burn/tan from vacation.
above all things personal, i wish my face wasn't pudgy. i hate gaining weight in my face.
i hop to trim down 10 or 20 pounds by susan's wedding. i'm sure susan will look amazing, and i dont want to be the fat sister. i'm slowly working on it. but god damnit i love food

social:
the social life comes and goes. i'm rarely home any evening. i call and call and find something to do, someone to smoke with, some bar to hit up, if i actually have money. sometimes i'm in high demand. sometimes i wish someone would just throw me a bone. lately i dont want to be alone, no matter how unpleasant the company, but i've been doing better. whatever. i still have me.

health:
yeah my health has been fading for a while. i run myself way too thin and end up sleeping whenever i can. i do it to myself half the time. i'm on medication that exhausts me anyway, plus weed, and staying out late, standing at work all shift, and of course.. you know all the sex i have... i've cut back on smoking. we'll see how that goes. money's too tight to buy things i dont need.


and thats the end, for those of you interested in what the hell is going on with me. i dont know if i'm really happy, or really depressed, because i'm so much in the middle that everything is ok.

it's weird.

Current mood: bored

Sunday, July 17, 2005

2:43AM - chinese zodiac

why are rats compatible with monkeys??

thats stupid!!

Current mood: Arrrrrrgh

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